UpFromTheSpar

2010-05-22T06:55:00.002+01:00

Wemberley

I'm off to Wembley in a few minutes. Its the third time in 2 years. I want everything to be perfect. It won't be. My stomach feels weird - nit my own. I'd love to think that its pre-match nerves but the symptoms are too similar you youngest son who came home from school ill on thursday. He's not nervous about the game - and I'm not sure that the butterflies are contagious in that way.

(Pause to feed whinging cat - he's not nervous either)

I decided not to go on the coach from cardiff with friend who took children and fathers. I opted for the drinking choice, the cheap hotel, the national express. Not sure my stomach agrees. I have to hide my blue shiny shirt until I meet the protection of the crowd - living as I do in enemy territory. The bus will be a shiny blue sea.

Fretting about being late because of traffic, about being too hot, being too cold, drinking too much and being ill, not drinking enough and being left out, losing my stuff, missing the bus. Oh - before i forget - there's the small matter of a game. Not much I can do about that.

2010-05-04T17:59:00.002+01:00

Back

After seven months of silence three of which were imposed by a nasty hacker who made this blog redirect to a counter ad - I'm back. Thanks go to the friend who managed to return this blog to its rightful owner - me. All I need now is something to say.

2010-03-13T20:50:00.001Z

Test

2009-09-08T19:26:00.002+01:00

Decisions

She's away this week. There are lots of things I want to do with my limited free time. Mostly things that would cause discussion, negotiation, possible consternation if she were home. She's usually happy for me to get stuff out of my system - usually by putting stuff into my system.

On the way home from work today, I had several ideas. The first one was to go to the pub for a pint and read my book, then get chips and indian snacks and bring them home. I had less than three hours between getting home and going to the Open "No mic". I toyed with the idea of trying out the Morrocan - not the one I've been to - but I remembered the sign in the window saying "No alcohol during the month of ramadan". This didn't fit.

In thinking about going for a pint I was clear that it would be in the Sugar Loaf. I like reading my book in public places and I'm gripped by my current novel - Crime by Irvine Welsh. Then it occured to me that I might meet someone in the Loaf and would have to chat and not read.

I settled on the Thali cafe. I had some deliberation over whether or not the line outside was double yellow. With the assistance of the Thali guy I decided it was and didn't park there. I went to the offie and having procured a large bottle of San Miguel, I entered the cafe and disappointingly the queue. When I got to the front I was surprisingly unperterbed by the £1 I was charged for bringing a bottle.

"Will you open it for me in that case?" I insisted.

He did.

I decided to sit on the sofa and as I opened my book I noticed that the woman sitting opposite was someone i had vaguely known about 17 years ago. I was prepared for a cursory smile but when she looked up she blanked me. I would prefer to think that she was having one to one time with herself like me - rather than her not recognising me.

2009-09-07T17:38:00.003+01:00

Ladies and Gents

A toilet in an office I visited today

2009-09-06T12:35:00.002+01:00

Danger

I am trying out my new camera. This was in my road. In hadn't noticed it before but did when loking for things to photograph.

2009-09-05T23:08:00.003+01:00

All the work
Seeing as he hardly talks to me unless I contact him and when I do see him he doesn't tell me anything unless I ask him direct questions - I occasionally log on to find out what he's thinking. Sometimes I get some clues this way.

When he's offish towards me I scan my memory to think of what it is I've done to cause this. This is a character flaw of mine. If I was a better person I wouldn't give a shit.

He reminds me of someone else who always seems to make others do all the work of communication. When I ask him a question, he makes a noise/ gesture which could equally be yes or no. I have to ask him again to see what he means. He is oblivious.

I'm sick and tired.

2009-06-13T09:43:00.001+01:00

Bouncer

2009-06-12T21:58:00.002+01:00

Waiting
We were in the waiting room of the Natural Health Clinic. We'd had a difficult conversation in the car on the way there and things were a bit intense. The homeopath (Ellen) was 15 minutes late. I was pacing the room and he sat in a chair. There was no one else in the large room and my mind was full of concerned thoughts about what he had told me about school difficulties. I was worried that he would get too gloomy so I changed the subject.
"I wish she'd hurry up," I said. "I'm really hungry."
He looked confused.
"But Ellen won't have any food. " He said.
I smiled and asked him what he thought I might have meant.
His face broke into a massive grin.
"You mean so you can get home quicker don't you. I sometimes say stupid things. " he said as we both broke into a laugh.
We laughed for ages.

2009-05-28T22:55:00.002+01:00

Punchline
Something vaguely amusing happened earlier today. Some people said some things which at the time sounded both banal and somehow poignant. I would have liked to have encapsulated this moment in writing and finished it off with a witty punchline.

2009-05-28T09:56:00.002+01:00

Lacks and Doubts
Not sure if its lack of an angle or lack of time or lack of motivation - but some or all of these lacks seem to keep me away from here at the moment. Inspired today by the approaching end of my week off work - where did it go? and by catching up on "old stokie". Still fishing for an angle tho. I have this idea which isn't so much eating away at me - more boring at me. I want to write a book about facebook - mainly about why some people do it and other don't. A contemporary analysis of a communication epidemic. The thing is - so far - all this idea does is get in the way when I'm reading a book or listening to music. This is the nearest I've got to putting anything down. Its those bloody lack's again. I've got a couple of extra ones on this project also. You'd better do it quickly or someone else will, you'll never have time to do it properly, with work and son and relationships, if you do it it'll be crap - best to hold onto the idea as a seed rather than let it grow into a weed.

Do I have what it takes to be single minded enough to get something done. I see other doing it, the mad professor, my glorious leader even old stokie at times. Am I willing to let go of all the distractions and dispersions - the dozens of mini projects and side interests and put it all inot getting one thing done well.

2009-05-03T11:15:00.002+01:00

Eyewash or Handwash?

"What do you think about this swine flu thing?", I asked.
We were in the pub after watching Gran Tourino at the Showcase. He was drinking a strange orangey cider known to locals as Thatchers. I sipped a pint of Easton Ale as part of my real ale renaissance.
His face contorted into somewhere between a grimace and a cringe.
"You don't take any notice of all that hype do you?, he said - putting me on the back foot.
"You think its all hype?", was my parry.
He went on to rant about the media coverage of the supposed pandemic which hadn't really seemed to affect anyone badly yet. I disagreed politely - but was interested as i had missed some of this hype. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong/right place.

I called on her door to pick him up on friday. I was a bit early as I'd been the the hospital for my quarterly check up. She's left a message on my mobile that morning to say that he'd been off school that day as he seemed hot thennight before. I had been relieved by the normal tone of the message as I'd been anxious since a long overdue and difficult meeting with her two days before.

As she opened the door I noticed a sign on the wall inside asking vistors to use the anticeptic handwash positioned on the banister. I was shocked as it seemed like the sort of thing you got going into a hospital - not a house. She was anxious in her demeaner and asked me to take a small bottle of handwash with me to use when we were out and about. In the car he tols me she was worried.

2009-04-08T15:26:00.001+01:00

Apparently
He was right

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=meh

2009-04-08T15:15:00.002+01:00

Meh
"It is a real word", he said.
"No it isn't", I said, "It's an irritating noise made by sheep".
"It's in my Simsons comic", he said. It says its in the dictionary meaning an expression of boredom".
"I don't believe you." said older son, watching the football.
"Dad - where's my Simpsons comic?"
"Its in my bag downstairs".
"No - not that one the other one, in my room. Where is it?
"In your room. " I said.

2009-03-12T20:05:00.002Z

Letting the side down
I'm finding it hard to post at the moment. There are two reasons for this. Firstly - I'm very busy at the moment. I go to the gym or swimming before work 3 times a week and often go out in the evenings. If I only stay in once or twice a week I feel too tired to sit at the computer and think. The other reason is that one of my blog buddies has stopped for the time being. I've discussed it with him and I understand his reasons but its hard to be motivated when I'm not part of something. Its the same with going to the gym. Three of us at work do it together. We don't actually interact much when we are there but not going seems like letting the side down so it keeps me going.

2009-02-16T22:06:00.004Z

Babylon
I went out in Cardiff on Saturday night. Unless you have grown up in this city - or are a frequent visitor - its quite difficult to get across what it's like in the town centre after a rugby international. I remember it as a kid - walking up queen street on a Saturday afternoon in February and every other person was wearing a kilt a seemed unable to walk. This week england were the visitors and the old enemy got well beaten. For a few minutes around 3pm I was going to the game. I got a call from a friend saying he had met a guy on the bus with a spare ticket - did I want it? I did - but about two dozen missed calls later the ticket was gone so I took my coat off and settled back in front of the telly.

I got the train into town after the game - forlornly trying to find out from my friend where he was drinking. I eventually made contact at the station and headed off through the throng that is St Mary's street. After the match the main street in cardiff is closed to traffic and is open to all sorts of human traffic mostly wearing red and in an advanced stage of anebriation. When I reached the arranged pub there was a massive queue outside and a voicemail which I could barely pick up saying they had given up and gone to the Cardiff Rugby Club bar.

I eventually found them in a courtyard where the whole population of the south wales valleys and their wives/ mothers were watching a live band playing enthusiastic Sterephonics and Manics covers (with the odd Status Que thrown in). I was handed a (very) cold can of magners and decided to put one of my gloves on to drink it. The best part of this bit of the evening was noticing the mens loos on the top floor of the car where you could see a row of blokes standing at the urinals from the windows dancing with their hands to the Fratellis Chelsea Dagger.

Zoom forward a few hours and a few more pints and I find myself in a club I believe may be called Kiwis. I wont bore you with the details but here's the wash hand basin in the loo.

Zoom forward a few more hours and a few more pints and the traditional trip down caroline street for the early hours chipped potato afficionado. This was the street. It took me ages to clean my shoes the next day.

2009-02-15T19:48:00.002Z

I went on a Speed Choice course on thursday. It was that or get 3 points on my licence so i jumped at it. I was a bit fed up about having to take the afternoon off work and I expected it to be boring. This impression was confirmed when the two geeky blokes who were running it - Mick and Gordon - handed out our name stickers and fiddled with their powerpoint projector. Even though they were a bit irritating and cliched - they managed to cram loads of useful stuff into the three hour session. It reminded of what bollocks a lot of the training I go to at work is - wasting time with brainstorms and flip-chart paper; long breaks and lunches; trainers trying to be your mate by letting you go early - while its them whose getting away with a six hour day.

Before going on the course I had felt a little powerless about my ability to stay below the speed limit on a reguilar basis. Its not that I'm some top gear watching speed king - its just that I'm easily distracted and can never remember where speed cameras are. Similarly - I felt powerless about my ability not to cause an accident one day. This is particularly poignant as my partners son nearly died last year when hit by a car.

The course not only drove (sic) home the difference a few extra mph can make, it also gave some handy hints for being a safer driver e.g. drive in 3rd gear in most 30mph zones. I have been trying this out and it makes it much easier to stick to 30. The one i failed to stick to was the thing about alcohol being in your system the next day. I went out this morning at 11 when I might have been over the limit until about 6pm. Got away with it this time though.

2009-01-18T18:56:00.002Z

Sunday Choices
I had some unexpected free time today - not that my time with my son is not free - but often , especially in the winter it is spent in the house avoiding making his perpetual cold worse. This afternoon he was going around to see a friend from two till five so I had some choices to make about how to spend this time. I enjoy these sort of choices but I don't always find them easy. Today - the choices seemed to flow without much effort. My first choice would have been to spend some time with my partner - but this was taken away from me as she was meeting a friend. I decided to go to the gym for a bit. I didn't have to do this. I could easily have gone to the pictures, gone to see a friend, gone home and done some DIY, played guitar and these were all the things I considered before opting for the gym. I've recently joined the gym and I'm on a bit of a roll with it and going on sunday takes a bit of pressure off the number of times I can get there in the week. I finished in the gym at 3.30 and embarked on the next stage of my plan.

This involved going to the Arnolfini, drinking coffee and reading my book. The process involved a number of decisions few of which were strictly rational - but I expect this is not an unusual thing. I was short of time but I decided to park the car in a place a know which is free - meaning that I would have a walk of about 7 minutes to the Arnolfini. I could have parked nearer and paid the fee or I could have gone for coffee somewhere out of town where its easy to park. I didn't feel like doing these things. I like parking near the Ostrich pub because I don't like paying for parking and I like the walk by the river. Why to do I like the Arnolfini? Actually I prefer the Watershed - but walking there would have taken a few more minutes and the Arnolfini is good also. I have a warm feeling about the docks in Bristol. Its sort of cosmopolitan and arty and there are people living in boats and I like the river and the sound of the sea birds and no one really belongs there so I feel I do. I like the chance I might bump into someone I know there - even though I didn't really want to today as I was engrossed in my book. I imagine that if I saw a man who looks like me, sitting in the Arnolfini drinking coffee and reading a book, I would think - "He looks like he knows what he wants to do today."

2009-01-17T19:23:00.002Z

Etiquette
I went to a pub last night. Its called the Duke of York in St Werburghs. I like the pub. Its unusual in that it has a skittle alley and an upstairs bar. I wasn't expecting to go - but I got a text and my partner didn't mind staying in with my son so I went. I'm not used to being out on weekend nights as I usually stay in with him and I noticed how busy it was. I went to the bar to get a round and had to wait a while before I could get to the front row of people waiting to order drinks. There seemed a lot of bar staff and they were certainly not slacking. When a space appeared I moved into it and caught the eye of a barman.
"Who's next?" he said , looking at me. I started my order.
"I think I was before you", said a tall man behind me.
"Sorry", I said - not wanting any trouble.
"I don't think he was", mouthed the barman to me as her served the tall bloke. He placed two pints on the bar.
"Do you think I cold get my drinks?" said the tall man reaching past me as if I was deliberately blocking him.
It wasn't an interaction I enjoyed.

2009-01-15T20:21:00.002Z

Compliance
I needed to get some shopping yesterday but I didn't want to spend too much time or money on it as both are short at the mo. I was stuck in a queue heading for Tescos and I thought "sod this for a bag of smarties". So I turned around (Turning the car around also) and headed the other way. Cunningly I parked in the Aldi car park but walked from there to a small Tescos. In my mind(where else?) I was thinking - "If I can't get what I want in Tescos, I'll pop into Aldis -Do people say Aldi's? - and have a look. I quite like that Aldi but you never know what they'll have. I got most of what I wanted in Tescos and as I returned to the car park with all my heavy food in my red Rajanis bag, I started to feel guilt about parking the car there. There didn't seem to be a ticket but there were lots of large signs threatening fines for misuse of the car park. I put my stuff in the car and in a shameful act of compliance I went into Aldi. As it was, I found croissants there - which had been absent from the small Tescos. I didn't think I would have bought something just to park there as I reasoned that it must be OK to park there with the intention of shopping but not to find what you were after - a regular Aldi experience.

2009-01-07T20:45:00.002Z

Moustache
I met a man on sunday with a very long moustache. It was twisted at each end and you could see if from behind. He was an extrovert young man from the north and he carried a Ukelele inside his shirt. He told me about his band which had two uke's a bass and drums. He played amusing covers on the uke as we walked in the snow in the mendips. I took a picture of his to show you but sadly a technical problem keeps preventing me from sharing it with you.

2008-12-21T08:58:00.002Z

Sunday
I love Sunday mornings these days. I remember as a child feeling the drag of slow boring Sundays - too quiet, loomed over by homework, reprieved only by Brian Moore and The Big Match. As usual I woke up early around seven and ran the bath - now enjoying the quietness as she still sleeps. I caught the cricket score on the radio before settling into the bubble and Stuart Maconie's Cider with roadies. I was going to get up after one chapter but the next one was about his discovery of the Smiths and I couldn't resist.

Hearing footsteps I thought she was up but then remembered that my son had come home from university last night and it was him I found hunched over the computer in the living room. He complained of a headache and I inquired as to his water intake. He went for a shower and I set off for the paper. Not wanting to wake her by getting clothes from the bedroom I put my overcoat over my dressing gown, donned my Birkenstock sandals and headed off into the street, the weather a lot milder than it has been and the air around my naked legs nothing less than pleasant. The overcoat belonged to my grandfather and had been stored in a black bin bag in my mum's attic until about a month ago until I decided to reclaim it. It's a real Crombie though not the short dark ones worn by skinheads in the late 70's.

I passed no one on the way to the shop and said nothing more than "morning" to the newsagent. We don't chat any more as we have nothing much to say to each other. I always browse the tabloid headlines before picking up the Observer. I read the front page of the paper on the way back - always slightly wary I will step in dogshit.

I think I shall make pancakes for breakfast.

2008-12-18T07:06:00.003Z

Unthank
I have been asked about the name Unthank. Several people have commented on how unusual it is. People I know who have lived in Norwich tell me there is an Unthank Rd. I looked on the internet (a little known vitual universe of interconnected computers) and this is what it said.
http://www.surnamedb.com/surname.aspx?name=Unthank

2008-12-16T07:54:00.001Z

Rachel Unthank and the Winterset

2008-12-01T20:45:00.002Z

Shopping
I went shopping earlier this evening at Cabot Circus. We were choosing our birthday presents from each other. I had a hankering for a knitted lined zip up hoodie. We went into Bench and found some. I took at XL sized hoodie and tried it on in front of the mirror. It seemed too small for me - not around the waist - but a little too short. I thought it would show my back if I bent over.
"Is everything OK?" asked the young female assitant.
"Are you sure these sizes are correct ?" I replied as I explained my problem with the top.
"I'm not that big", I appealed.
She assured me that the sizes were all right.
"Maybe you just are - you know- large. ", she said.
She asked me to try it on again. I did and she said that it was fine. I told her my concern about bending over.
"But you're not going to spend all your time bending over are you" she said.
I decided to withdraw my cistom.

2008-11-29T19:32:00.002Z

Excitement
I got very excited about two things the week before last. When I get excited about things I often want to tell others about them and have them share my interest and excitement. The problem is - people don't generally like to be told by someone else what they should be interested in or excited about. People tend to resist overt suggestions from others. I know this because I am the same. The best way to get someone interested in something is to tell them about it without having any interest in them feeling the same as you. I know this - and it was reinforced by both of the things which excited me (a course and a book). My knowledge of this facet of human behaviour unfortunately flies in the face of the excited state I find myself in when I'm captivated by something and almost invariably I try to impose it on others.

2008-11-16T16:54:00.002Z

Sunday Revelation
Today's going loads better than I expected. I woke up with the hangover of the hopeless thoughts that dogged me at the tail end of yesterday. I knew that these thoughts were an aftershock of the difficult discussion we had had earlier in the day - but I couldn't help worrying that they would cast a shadow over my "free day" and worse - lead me to say or do things I might later regret.

I got in the bath at 7.30 and picked up my book - not expecting to focus - but to my surprise I was near the end of the chapter before too many internal interruptions. Having read for nearly an hour I got out and did the washing up. She was still asleep and I relished this time to myself. She was up by the time I returned from the paper shop - and I noticed my mood had lifted slightly and I didn't react too badly to the end of my time alone.

My stomach felt bloated from last nights curry and I decided not to eat anything until it had settled down. Instead I opened the paper and started reading the news section. I haven't done this for ages - usually jumping straight to the crossword and often getting no further. I read about child abuse and social work disasters and chatted seriously with my partner across the table. The crossword went OK though not spectacularly. I noted an article in the review section that I intended to read later.

After her bath we decided to go to town to look in FOPP for some CD's we both wanted. I am usually resentful about driving on the weekend - but I let it go and was amazed to find a parking space just off Park St which was free on sundays. On entering FOPP she pointed aout the Nick Cave section where they had both the albums I was looking for for £3 each. Amazing! I also bought another cd and a book I'd heard of. We went up Park Street looking for breakfast. We found a posh cafe which served expensive breakfasts. We went on further to Rocotillos but it was too full so we returned to the posh place. The serving guy was attentive - like a Maitre D and I liked it. Whilst we waited for our food I started reading the article about the "Great Thinker" Malcolm Gladwell which had caught my eye. I never read non-fiction nowadays - but clearly I am ready to start again because I was so impressed I went into Blackwells and bought one of his books.

Things have continued to go well. When I stopped looking to others to fulfill me - they started.

2008-11-16T10:48:00.002Z

Commando
On Wednesday I went swimming before work. I have an exercise regime which means I want to do at least one form of exercise a week. I keep a chart by my computer to monitor this and meet with a colleague for friend breakfast once a month or so to monitor it. I have missed a couple of weeks because of half term and not feeling 100%. I prepared my stuff the night before because its always a rush and I try to not to wake her up when I get out of bed at 6.30. I left trunks, pants, trousers and shirt on the chair in my sons room on tuesday night. He doesn't use the room in the week.

The alarm didn't go off at 6.30 and opening my eye I noticed that it was 6.55. I got out of bed in a daze and wandered into my son's room to get dressed. (I found out later that I had set the alarm for 7.30 by mistake. I often get this wrong as I'm usually tired when I do it.) I got to the pool at 7.20 and as I scrabbled for change I remembered that I had forgotten to bring my pants. (I was wearing my trunks to save time. I enjoyed the swim - though I only managed 30 lengths as I was late and knackered (I usually do 40). I toyed with the idea of going home to pick up some pants but decided I would have a commando day instead. I wanted to go in early as my hours are down at work and I had lots to do.

My main concern - now that I had realised that wearing these trousers without pants wasn't uncomfortable was to challenge myself not to do what I would usually do - tell everyone about it. I am aware of my exhibitionist tendancies and often enjoy them - but I thought that in these circumstances it would be best to keep schtum. I managed this well all morning - through the team meeting and a staff superision session I had with one of my team. Lunch was fine and it wasn't until after 3pm that it started to nag at me. The colleague I was most likely to share this with was sitting next to me and I knew that we would have a giggle about it. I decided to go half way but to stick with my plan. I told her that there was something I was challenging myself not to tell her as it was unnecessary and innapropriate to share. She found this infuriating but it kept me going for a while. I got all the way to 4.50 - ten minutes before I was due to leave before I let it out to three people in the office - two women and one man. We shared "Commando" stories. I was both happy and ashamed.

2008-11-10T22:42:00.002Z

Leonard

Hallelujah

So Long Marianne

2008-11-09T20:40:00.002Z

Len
I went to see Leonard Cohen last night. It was at the Cardiff International Arena(CIA) which unlike its namesake seems unlikely to have been involved in any third world military coups. It was a wet evening and I was soaked by the time I met my friend outside the venue. We had lunched at my mothers earlier and he had taken the train into town to explore Cardiff. He had stepped in dog shit on the way to the station - which was unfortunate - though the rain had washed it all off by now.

For a while I stood contemplating buying a tour t-shirt. They were £20 and had a picture of Len with his hat and suit.
"I want one that will look cool", I said
"He'll be dead soon", said my friend.
"Oh - I suppose that'll be cool", I grinned.
"I think I'll save my money and get one at Nick Cave in a couple of weeks. " I said. "He always looks cool."

The concert was great. Leonard played for three hours with a 15 minute break. He was gracious in his praise for the audience and the other musicians and I loved the way he took his hat off at the end of each song and smiled as we applauded. I thought the atmosphere was a bit flat as people were incredibly well behaved - staying in our seats and not singing much. The most frustrating thing for me was to do with taking videos. I wasn't sure which songs to record so I started with a lot of songs and stopped if it wasn't one I wanted. The second set started with Tower of Song - one of my favourites. I got the whole thing. It was great - he did loads of adlibbing and chat. Later I decided I needed to delete a couple of earlier songs to allow room for one of the encores. I accidently deleted Tower of Song. Gutted!.

We ran for the last train and made it by a minute. My friend said that his set was better at Glastonbury.

2008-11-05T20:08:00.002Z

Committed
"I need to talk to you", she said, "about missing the last two Tuesdays before the concert."
"I told you I would have to", I said plaintively. "I made those arrangements before you announced the date."
I was really knackered and didn't need this. We had been at the "solo group" in the upstairs room of her house since 7pm. It was now nearly ten and everyone had left apart from me, my duet partner and our teacher/ choir leader. She looked tired too.
"I'm just worried about your solo song," she said, "The others doing the backing won't have practiced it for two weeks and its not really fair on them."
"I'm sorry", I said, "but I don't know what I can do about it."
"What are you doing on the last week?" she asked.
"I've got tickets to see Nick Cave in Manchester with my son." I said - knowing that she wouldn't understand.
"Would you consider trying to sell them?" she said.
I was gobsmacked, incredulous, words like that.
"No!" I said, "It's more important.
"I'm sorry," she said, "but I needed to say something 'cos its a problem.
"I'm probably the person in the choir who's missed least rehearsals", I said.
"I know," she said. "You're my most committed choir member.
It was awkward for a bit while my duet partner made suggestions to get around the issue. Eventually leader came up with the idea that she wold sing my song in my absence for others to practice the backing. We went for a pint together afterwards.

2008-10-23T22:16:00.000+01:00

Just Looking
I handed over the two cd's and a DVD to the smiling woman behind the counter at the new Zavvi in Cabot Circus.
"Did you find everything you were looking for?", she asked.
"I wasn't looking for anything", I said, "And if I stay here any longer - I'll buy some more things I wasn't looking for."

2008-10-16T08:15:00.002+01:00

New Friends
I've got three new friends on Facebook. That makes 93 in total. I'm not bragging - but it is interesting to me. I wonder how many I would have if everyone I know joined facebook. No wonder its hard keeping in touch with people.

My most recent new friend is an ex lover of mine. (I use the term lover - because this was what she used at the time - 16 years ago. Partner or girlfriend didn't seem right.) She now knows some people who are friends of my current partner and one of them suggested that I might like to be friends with her.

My second most recent new friend is an Israeli man who I met in Exeter last week when I went there for Yom Kippur - the jewish day of atonement. He ran the service. He was young, spoke with an an american accent and I found him inspirational. He has over 250 facebook friends and lots of them comment using hebrew script.

My third most recent new friend is my sister in law. She lives in South Africa. I was a bit unsure as we have different lifestyles but I decided to give it a go and it seems fine so far.

2008-10-06T23:08:00.004+01:00

Comedy
I went to see some comedy on Saturday night. My friend won 2 free tickets to go to the Colston hall to see Mark Watson. He was very good. We met a guy who worked with my friend in the bar during the interval. It turned out he was Mark Watson's uncle. I found out that Mark Watson is not in fact welsh at all - but his welsh accent is part of his act.

I was really impressed by the support act - Tom Basden - and partly in homage to a blog I have just read called

bluemoggcomedy.blogspot.com

I am posting some clips of him.

2008-10-05T10:57:00.002+01:00

Paper Shop
I went out for eggs this morning. Cooked breakfast is one of my sunday teats. I remembered on the way to the Spar that I could get the paper. Unusual that I hadn't thought of this first as its a usual part of the sunday routine. On entering the paper shop I noticed that the newsagent I'll call Andrea wasn't there. Instead a man and a woman stood behind the counter and two other customers where chatting with them.
"Where's Andrea?", I said when I got his attention.
"She just walked out," he said. "She can't stand the shop any more. She's gone for a walk."
I felt a wave of sadness thinking of this woman who'd lost her husband recently. I hadn't warmed to her - but old age, loneliness and wondering what's the point are universal themes.
I noticed that they couple who were running the shop couldn't work out how to use the till and were taking money on the counter, writing down each paper they sold. I felt bad about having a tenner - but they managed it. It felt warm that the community had stepped in to keep the shop open.

Spar
As I approached the Spar - thinking about the strange scene in the papershop, I noticed a woman I know through a friend, going in with two children. She is the woman I failed to recognise on 21st Aug (Bead Shop post). I tried to catch her eye but she seemed to look away.
"Hello", I said.
She looked up, smiled and said hello and called me by my name, then looked away again. I wondered whther she was being offish because I had forgotten who she was last time. I also wondered if she thought I had forgotten her name this time as I hadn't used it. I wasn't sure why I didn't - embarrassment I think.

I approached her in the queue after she said something about giving in to her children by buying them sweets.
"Easily done," I said.
I confessed that I was making a point of recognising her after what happened in the bead shop. She smiled and chatted. She seems like a very nice person - but I am confused on how to be with her because I find her beautiful.

2008-09-26T22:17:00.004+01:00

Disappointment
I went swimming on Wednesday morning. I didn't feel able to run this week because I twisted my ankle last week - so when two colleagues suggested a 7am swim - I thought - hmm! - good idea. I decided to walk to them pool as my car was booked into for an MOT. I enjoyed walking through Easton before 7 in the morning. It was quiet and fresh. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a black man said "Alright mate" to me as we passed each other crossing the dual carriageway. I mumbled alright back to him once I got over myself.

Years ago I used to live on that stretch of Stapleton Road and had known all the shops really well. Now I rarely go down there and they are all strange to me. I was excited to see that there was a 24 hour supermarket. That'll be handy I thought - to get things late at night (which I never do and we have a 24 hour tesco's anyway). My excitement soon gave way to disappointment when I realised that it was closed.

2008-09-16T08:57:00.002+01:00

Wired
I was wired last night - but in a good way. I still am a bit. I went to choir practice and things are hotting up for a small performance we are doing in a week or two's time. I loved the feeling of coming together with this group and making a sound which made us all smile. I loved the leaders' enthusiasm. I loved the banter I got into with her and some of the others. I loved the way that some people laughed at my banter.

I also felt vulnerable and stupid because when I get enthusiastic and carried away like that - there's always some people who are irritated or wound up by it. Often its my partner but not last night. It was another woman who seemed to be challenging me about suggestions I made - as if I was overstepping my authority. I dealt with this through banter by drawing attention to myself every time I made a suggestion.

I don't really want to censor myself when I feel so free and joyful - but if I don't I have to deal with the censorship of others - a choice I find tough. I spoke to her about it in the car on the way back.
"I wouldn't worry about it". She said.

2008-09-07T20:29:00.002+01:00

Lost fivers
I lost £5 yesterday. I went on some errands yesterday afternoon the last of which was Tesco's getting stuff for her to make cakes. She gave me a tenner and I was going to have to give her a fiver change so I paid on the card and asked for £20 cashback.
"Not sure if we've got any five pound notes", he said.
I told him not to worry.
He did have them and counted them out when he gave me my cash.
As I got in the car I remembered that I had forgotten to buy butter - the original reason for going there. I wasn't going to brave the checkout again so went to the Spar when I got home. It was £1.14. I paid with a fiver.
"Are you sure there aren't two stuck together", I said to the assistant. She said there weren't.
When I got my money out later there were no fivers.

This afternoon I paid £5 to see some poetry. I'm not a fan of poetry but my friend was reading and I had ended up at the Arnolfini where it was happening and she wanted to pay £4 to go the Organic fair - which I didn't fancy at all - so I went.
"How long is it going to take?" I asked the woman at the ticket counter.
"No more than an hour and a half", she smiled.
An hour and a half later the first half finally came to an end with a 20 minute interval. My friend hadn't been on yet. I had slept through translated somalian poetry and fidgetted through translated Arabic poetry. They even gave us the benefit of playing tapes of the poetry in its origianal languages - the point of which I didn't get at all. There was a question and answer session at the end of the reading. I hated each questionner with increasing intensity. Some were in the bar in the interval where I sat with her. She drank coffee and told me about the great free samples she had got at the organic food fair. I gave them nasty looks.

2008-08-21T22:02:00.001+01:00

Bead Shop
I parked my car in the bay opposite the shop – not feeling quite sure if I was allowed to. Entering the shop I noticed a woman with a child who I recognised but couldn’t place. I approached the woman behind the counter who was doing something with beads.
“I’m not sure if was you…”
“It was” she interrupted.
I explained that I had bought a necklace for my partner for our anniversary and she had replaced the clasp and that it had broken after a day. She apologised and offered to replace the link holding on the clasp with a stronger one. As she did this I looked around the shop – straining to try to remember the woman in the shop playing with beads with her daughter. I did, however recognise the music being played in the shop.
“This is Nick Drake isn’t it?”, I said.
“Yes” said the Bead Shop woman.
“Its great isn’t it” I smiled.
“Yes”, she said” “I Only know this album”.
“Pink Moon? “ I said.
“Yes”, she said. “The last one he made before he died. Do you know any others?”
“Only that one and Five Leaves Left.” I said.
“Is that one better?” she asked.
I thought about it. “I’m not really sure which one is which,” I confessed, “They just come up randomly on my MP3 Player”.
I thanked her for fixing the necklace and as I was leaving the woman I couldn’t place said hello and called me by my name. She reminded me who she was and I was really annoyed with myself that I hadn’t recognised her. I had met her a few times through a friend and had liked her. I think of myself as a man who is good with names and faces. She was there buying an anniversary present too.
When I returned to the car I put on Five Leaves Left to see if it was better than Pink Moon.

2008-08-20T21:58:00.002+01:00

Bank
"I don't need a paying in slip do I?" I said to the attractive eastern european bank teller.
"No" she smiled, "Just insert your card".
I did as she said and obediently entered my pin number as I handed over the cheque for £75. It had been given to me by a new friend for the Leonard Cohen ticket I had bought. Its a lot of money but seems well worth it at the moment. I'm a fan. My new friend has an eastern european name. He is thinking of dropping one of the consonants to make it easier to spell.
"I've noticed Mr Fromthespar, that its more than twelve months since you've had your annual review", said the teller.
"I know", I smiled, "That's because I don't want one".
"You don't want us to save you money", she persisted.
"No," I beamed, " I'm really happy with my account".
"OK", she said. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
I thought for a second.
"No thankyou" I said and I walked out smiling.

2008-08-12T21:39:00.002+01:00

Take Away
So I was going to write about about something else. It was funny and happened on friday - but for some reason I - after logging in I got up to make a cup of tea and gave in to the urge of two rice cakes with marmite and peanut butter. I was annoyed with myself because since starting acupuncture about a month ago I seem to have mostly dropped the habit of snacking - especially in the evening. This evening it's come back with a vengeance. I've already had an orange (acceptable) and some chocolate. I was following the rice cake urge (yes it is possible to have one - people have all sorts of urges) and a minor disaster occured. I was listening to her phone conversation whilst spreading the marmite - wondering whether or not she would tell her friend about the night away in a hotel I've organised for our tenth anniversary(she didn't) - and I reached for the peanut butter and there was a soundless crash and I looked around and there were black shards everywhere. (Christ these rice cakes are stale - definitely not worth the bother.)

I wondered for about two seconds how a jar of peanut butter could turn into black shards. It reminded me of the sort of ashes which fly out of the mouth of John Coffee in The Green Mile. Then I realised that the shards had previously been the plate the rice cakes had been sat on. They are black glass and go everywhere when broken. I re-ran the events in my mind. There had been two PB jars - one on top of each other. Which fucking idiot had left them like that? I had my suspicions... it was their fault. Running the scene further forward I became aware that I had picked up the lower of the two jars which was why the upper one had fallen on the plate. I can't explain why I did this.

It took ages to clear up the debris. She was still on the phone. I swore twice, hoping for her to interupt herself and ask me what had happened. She didn't. I wondered if fate was trying to tell me to stop snacking. Then I rememebered that I don't believe in fate and that it only operates on those who do.

Anyway - on friday night I went to the chinese take away with my older son and his univesity friend. The friend chatted at length while we waited for our food. He told me about his post graduation plans and mused about which branch of science he was most interested in. I felt slightly conscious of the other man in the shop. He was leaning against the window in a manner I took to be drunk. He seemed to be staring at me a lot. I imagined he was judging me and mine for being studenty middle class types. As our conversation came to a pause his chips arrived. He seemed to summon all his energy to leave the comfort of the window and before he left, turned to my son's friend and uttered the words "Physics mate".

2008-08-05T21:06:00.002+01:00

The Right Place
"This is the right place isn't it," said the man with the security helmet as he walked into the office. He had the visor up and was holding one of those hand held machines that you can sign for things with these days.
"Where do you think it is?", I asked.
"Merlin Housing Society", he said.
"No," I said - with the pleasure of someone who is correct. "Its over there." I opened the door and pointed to the other shop front - its signage obscured by trees.
"Thanks", he said.

2008-08-05T07:56:00.003+01:00

Bird

Hopefully you will find this image of a bird taken by the river wye as stunning as I do. You'll be even more surprised when you hear that the bird was flying backwards when it was snapped.

2008-07-16T18:52:00.003+01:00

Beef
We were sitting at our computers next to each other at work.
"Can you spell beef?", she said.
I looked over at her screen. She was typing up a support plan. I saw the work chef and made sense that she was writing someting about beef. It seemed odd as she's really good at word games on facebook and I would have expected her to be able to spell a simple word like beef. How many ways can you spell it anyway?
"B-E-E-F", I said.
She didn't seem to hear me and looked at me as if I was mad.
"What did you say again?" I asked.
"Can you smell beef?" she said. I think its coming from the chip shop.
We laughed and laughed until we stopped.

2008-07-13T09:40:00.003+01:00

Park
I went running this morning. I don't tend to call it jogging since a friend once convinced me it was somehow a deameaning way of describing this activity. On reflection - jogging more accurately describes what I do, as my heavy body jogs from aching leg to aching leg. It really needs another word altogether - something between waddling and lumbering. How about "wumbering"? That'll do.

Anyway - this morning I changed my usual wumbering route. (When I say usual - I have done it six times before this year. I can tell you this because I have a little chart on the wall next to my computer where I tick off excercise activities. It is a behaviourist method aimed at being more conscious of what I do. It has been there since 12th May and remarkable seems to be working.)

Getting fit isn't an area of my life in which I feel confident. There is evidence to support my lack of self belief in that I am forty two and nothing I seem to have done in the past to get fit seems to have worked. For this reason, I seem to be more open to taking the advice of others in this matter. Conversely - in areas of my life in which I feel confident- I don't take easily to other peoples views. This is arrogant and clearly a character flaw - but will remain so for today while I return to my wumberling.

The advice I took was to try running on grass instead of tarmac. It was given by a friend (really a friend of a friend) with whom I have lately taken to playing table tennis. He didn't actually give it as advice - just told me that he ran in the local park. Waking irritatingly at 7am as I'm prone to do on a sunday I decided to give it a spin and took my nearly new running shoes, (You can't get shoes specificaly for jogging or wumbering), my sons MP3 player and my spirit of adventure to the park. I decided to drive as the fifteen minutes walk to the park seemed a bridge too far.

I was a bit worried about running in the park at seven in the morning as I didn't know who would be about at that time. The first person I encountered said hello. I recognised him as a man I had worked with in a bail hostel about eleven years ago. I see him around a bit walking his dog. This is what he was doing today. He was also walking a can of high strength lager. (Why to high alcohol drinks have energetic names like Turbo, Ace and Lightening. Those who drink them are often less than dynamic.) I would be surpised if he recognised me and his greeting was more likely an attempt at human contact. I wumbered on, noticing the grass to be wet and the water to be soaking through to my socks but found the grass less painful on my hips and shins than the tarmac of the cyclepath. . I abandoned the MP3 player as the left phone of the "In ear" headphones I was using repeatedly failed to live up to its name. I spotted a man sleeping in the shelter. He didn't seem to pose any danger to me - being asleep - so I wumbered on. As I approached the swings - three lads were sitting on the climbing frame drinking cans. I diverted my route and my eyes. I saw a squirrel without a tail and later the man with the dog and the lager dosing on a bench. I expect he has a tale.

Making myself wumber on until my watch indicated twenty minutes I reached the best bit - allowing myself to stop. I waddled to the newsagents to buy the Observer.
"Feel better after your jog?" said the man behind the counter.
"Not yet", I said, "But I expect I will in an hour or so."

2008-07-09T20:36:00.003+01:00

Fascinating
"What do you do for a living?", she asked. I told her.
"How about you?" I said
" I work with elderly and disabled people", she said. "I find them really special".
"Oh yes", I said.

She swapped seats with her son to sit next to me to tell me more. I was pleased to allow our sons some time to catch up. He had had phoned my son earlier to say they were in Bristol as his mum was wanted to see a friend who was playing in a band locally. It later emerged that she had met this man on the bus once and she couldn't remember the name of the pub. They gave up looking for it and came round to the house. She mentioned it was a jazz band and I told her which pub it was. I offered to accompany them for a pint as and show them where the pub was. Sometimes I'll do anything for a pint.

She sat next to me gazing intently and started to tell me a story of an amazing old lady she had met on a train, who had travelled here and there....I glazed over at this point.
"...and as I was getting off the train", she went on, " The old lady came up to me and said - Excuse me I need to say something to you. I really don't like to way you have spoken to me. I think you are very patronising.
"I was so shocked", she said. "I told her I worked with old people and found them fascinating".

2008-07-03T22:17:00.003+01:00

Thud
I watched Nadal beat Murray yesterday. It was hard not to be impressed by the sheer power of Nadal. The sound the ball makes when he hits it still comes to mind. Thud!

This evening I went to meet a neighbour of the block I manage at work. He was making a complaint. As I arrived I saw 4 youths hanging our outside the block - the sort of stuff the neighbours don't like. I went up to them
"I'm from the landlord's" I said. "Can you not hang outside the block please - we've had a lot of complaints". They were just about to move away when a large man appeared from behind me. He went up to the lad I was talking to and hit him. Thud! He hit him again and again saying - Why did you...
It wasn't me it wasn't me - said the lad.
I froze but noticing I had been ignored I walked to my car clutching my mobile phone. I turned around and saw the large man get back into the taxi he had arrived in.

I went to meet a friend to play table tennis. As I was locking my bike I overheard two 10 year old girls arguing about who was more "Emo".
"How can you be more Emo than me?
"I am - I wear black..."

2008-07-02T22:39:00.000+01:00

Instrument of Wind

2008-07-02T22:31:00.000+01:00

Laughing Len
I so wish I'd been there to see this...

2008-06-22T10:21:00.002+01:00

Wonder
"Do you ever wonder how you ended up with..." he started saying when we were interupted by something.
I knew what he mean't but I asked him to finish the sentance anyway.
"Of course I do", I said, "All the time".
We arrived at the house and didn't carry on the conversation.

I continued it this morning in my head in my bath. You start off because you want to - I thought - and then you carry on because you want to.

2008-06-20T16:14:00.002+01:00

Text
I posted him a disc with his Monster Jam videos on it. His mum and cousin had wanted to see them. I sent a note with the disc telling him I'd ordered the Monster Jam playstation game. I asked him to text me to confirm he'd recieved it. (This was a ploy to get him using his now dorment phone).

I picked him up from school this afternoon.
"I got the disc", he said.
"Good", I said.
"I didn't text you."
"No" - I said. "Have you lost your phone?"
"No", he said. "I was just - you know - caught up with things. It doesn't mean I don't care..."
"I know." I said, "Lets not get into that now - how are things at school?"

2008-06-18T19:14:00.002+01:00

Gym
I sort of woke before the alarm today as I often do - dozing within my thoughts, trying to avoid a few more seconds of reality. After a while a chanced a peek at the LED number on the alarm clock radio. 06:56.
Shit!!! it was supposed to go off at 6.30. I was due to meet a colleague at the gym at 7.
I rushed out of the room grabbing the gym clothes I had laid out last night in my sons' room. (he doesn't stay during the week and my partner doesn't get up until 7am and I don't want to wake her). I turned on my phone in the living room as I dressed - now noticing a need to pee and not being able to decide in my panic whether to phone or pee first.
Unable to decide I went up to the bathroom, sat on the loo and called my colleague.
"Really sorry - the alarm didn't go off - I'll be there in five".
"No worries", she said.
I made sure I ended the call before I flushed. I don't know her that well.
I grabbed my things, got in the car and was there by 7.06.
She had to wait as she was signing me into the gym as a guest. its all part of me enlisting people to do sporty things with me to help me get fitter - and about her liking to be helpful. I didn't have a pound coin so she let me share her locker.
I went on the treadmill first as usual. This was a different treadmill than last time and speeds I usually found a struggle were really easy. Had I got remarkably fitter? No -I realised that some machines were set for miles and some for kilometres. Never mind! I did feel quite good about my workout feeling slightly less pathetic than last time.
I noticed a man in the gym I had known through work some years ago. We smiled at each other twice. Later as I got out of the shower he appeared and asked where I was working now. I told him and asked about his work. We chatted about the gym. It was all going well until he took off is shirt to reveal a broad chest.
It ruined my day.

2008-06-13T14:19:00.002+01:00

Monster Jam
No... its isn't what monsters have on their toast....

Its a massive american entertainment event where big trucks race each other and jump over things. I took my son to it on saturday at the millenium stadium. I took his mother (my ex) and cousin also.

It wasn't really my cup of tea. It was too long and loud - apart from the ethical issues which I'm not even going to get into.

My son always asks me what my favourite bit was. I probably ask him the same - but often I don't know what to say.

The bit with the motorbikes - however - was quite unexpected and impressive. It was definitely my favourite bit.

2008-06-12T20:11:00.001+01:00

Fbrak...
...is back.

http://fbrak.blogspot.com/

2008-06-11T07:45:00.002+01:00

Woke Up This Morning
I think I've been a bit down lately. Its not been one thing - but lots of little things chipping away at me making me feel not just right. Not being on top of my work; being fed up at my ex and not able to express it; losing control of money; end of the football season; being forty-two; being intollerant to wheat; boredom etc... It seemed to culminate on monday in me getting ill. I came home from work with the shivers thinking I had sunstroke - though I hadn't been out in the sun much. I took to my bed and sweated and dozed for about 19 hours. I got up yesterday and went to work feeling a bit better.

I went to see a friend last night and told her I felt like grumbling but I wasn't sure what about.

I woke up this morning and something seemed to have lifted. I had energy and an outlook full of possibilities. I had an urge to weigh myself - something I haven't done for about 5 months. I had lost half a stone - without trying - the benefits of a wheat free diet I expect.

Things are looking up.

2008-06-10T18:53:00.002+01:00

Stopped
I was stopped by the police on sunday. I was just coming into Coronation Road taking my son and his cousin back after a birthday related sleep-over.
"No need to worry", said Plod as I opened the window, "It's part of Operation Summer Toxin....can you tell me when you last had an alcoholic drink?"
"Ummm...what is it now?", I said "Sunday?". I looked and probably sounded blank as I scanned my mind through the activities of the previous day (singing in a choir at a fair then going to the Monster Jam at the Millenium Stadium)
"How about in the last twelve hours?", he said putting me out of my misery.
"Oh... I didn't drink yesterday". I said
"That's fine sir", He said, "That'll be all".
I drove off feeling slightly pleased with myself and slightly ashamed that I'm so boring.

2008-06-06T13:13:00.002+01:00

Lost
I don't seem to be able to find the time or the energy.

I know I put it somewhere - it'll come back to me in a minute. Have you got it - didn't you borrow it the other day? No? Ok - it must be here somewhere. I'll keep looking.

2008-05-18T18:24:00.002+01:00

Shirt
"Come on", he said. "I know somewhere we can get a late drink near here".
I looked around me and Soho was busy and bustling. The pub we were leaving was still serving and I wasn't sure why we were moving on - but he had just arrived and seemed urgent. Some people just seem to make leadership decisions and he's one. We followed him down a few streets and lanes and came to a club with a man on the door. He was engaging the man in conversation as if they had met before. I realised there was a problem.
"He can't come in", he said pointing at me," With that shirt on. We're not allowing any supporters in."
"What if he does his jacket up and covers it up", said my friend.
"No", said the doorman.
"I'll take it off", I said and I removed my denim jacket and took off my replica shirt off putting in my jacket pocket. Under this current shirt I had an old rugby style football shirt (one of my dad's)
"Nice one", said the leader.
We didn't go in.
This morning I discovered that I had lost my shirt.

2008-05-15T20:18:00.001+01:00

Posting
This is my first ever posting on the Cardiff City Message Board. I thought you'd like to see it.

http://www.ccmb.co.uk/fudforum/index.php?t=msg&th=78589&start=0&rid=1342&S=1c79194144d25f459efe169b7bf8b183

2008-05-15T20:10:00.002+01:00

Lego
I really see little point at the moment - in posting about anything which isn't happening in North West London on saturday at 3pm - so I wont. Watch and enjoy!

2008-05-14T19:44:00.002+01:00

Reject
Its quite possible that I'm overcautious about football related partisan violence. I'm not someone who's indulged in it myself and at my time of life I don't feel like starting. Anyway - last night I went to a local pub to watch the play off semi final between Bristol City and Crystal Palace. I'm not a supporter of either team but I am interested in Bristol City as I live here and my son supports them and I've seen them live a few times. I wanted them to win - and if they go up - I'll try to see some premiership games.

On the other hand I do hate Lee Trundle. He's an ex Swansea player who famously insulted Cardiff City once in a stupid way. When I went to see Bristol against City last month I thoroughly enjoyed the ninety minutes of abuse aimed at Trundle. He also looks annoying and full of himself.

Last night I stopped myself from doing the two things I wanted to do in the pub - that it - wear a Cardiff City shirt and shout abuse at Trundle. I didn't do either of these harmless things just in case there was a Bristol City (Or Rovers) fan in the pub who might take exception to this overtly Cardiff behaviour.

After a couple of pints I did shout "Swansea Reject" - but no one seemed to notice.

2008-05-08T20:47:00.002+01:00

Night Off
"I'll take the car to party on saturday", I said, "But I'll leave it there and we'll get a taxi home."
"You could just not drink," she said.
"I don't want to not drink." I said
"Did you drink every night when I was away?" she said.
"No", I said, "Not every night....I had one night off".
(Not completely true...)

2008-05-08T20:39:00.002+01:00

Not any more
On sunday I went to the Spar to get some Mr Muscle Oven Cleaner. The person serving me was the son of the owners who runs the garage next door.
"Was your wing mirror OK?", I asked. I had hit it with my wing mirror a couple of weeks ago while reversing to give way.
"Fine," he said - "I put it back on - occupational hazzard of parking in this street".
"I know", I said, "I try to to get worked up about it."
"He gets woound up about it all the time." I said about a well known local man who lives in my street. He's had his wing mirrors knocked off by kids a few times.
"He won't be any more", said garage man with a grin.
"Why?", said I.
"He died on thursday."
"Oh my god.", I said. " I didn't know".
"Yes, he had a heart attack crossing the road."
"Well I never."

2008-05-04T21:35:00.002+01:00

Repair
I was plinking away of the piano when son came in an interupted me.
"The door bell went", he said, "It was Ed."
"Did you let him in?" I said - slightly surprised that some had been so helpful in his social interaction.
He had. Ed is the son of a good friend of mine and earlier this afternoon I'd offered to help him fix his puncture.
"I'll let him know when I'll be in", I said to his father, "And its up to him if he comes around."
I'd sort of not expected him to come and was pleased to see him. He had the bike wheel with him and no bike - which was also a relief as I'd envisioned an oily bike going through my living room.
"How do you get it off?" he said referring to the tyre.
"With tyre levers", I said fishing out some from a box - "or failing that spoons."
"Have you got a pump?"I asked as I removed the tyre.
"Err no..." he said.
"Oh!", I said "Its a car valve - I expect there's one around here somewhere".
"I don't suppose you can - like - use your mouth," He said.
"I don't think so." I said. "I'm just going to look in the shed.
The keys to the shed didn't seem to work. I thought it must be rusted so I gave it an extra hard twist. Snap - went the key in the lock.
I went back in and told Ed what had happened as I carried on looking for a pump valve.
"I'm not in the mood for getting stressed about little things like the shed," I said. "I'll worry about that later.
A little later I managed to borrow a pump from a neighbour. It was a big stand up one and worked a treat. We found two splits in the inner tube. I fixed the first one and he did the second one using my directions (and one that he had brought from a friend).
He thanked me repeatedly. On one occasion I said
"It's nice to be able to do something to make me feel masculine".
"He said he felt like that sometimes.
We drank tea and listened to music as we worked. Just before he left he remembered that he needed to borrow his dads spare key to get back in his house. He told me that he would get another one cut near his mums.
"That's between you and your dad." I said.

2008-04-27T18:27:00.002+01:00

Alternatively...
I prefer this one

http://www.myspace.com/cardiffcitysupporters
(Click on the "Do The Ayatollah" clips)

2008-04-27T18:11:00.001+01:00

Bluebirds Flying High
What more can I say!!! Download it on itunes or buy the cd...

2008-04-24T21:54:00.002+01:00

Violated

I recieved a comment 20 minutes ago from a Blogger called DUMURO. The nasty wanker is a virus spreading bastard. I have delting it now and tried to report it to Blogger. Lots of others have had this experience.

http://groups.google.gy/group/blogger-help-howdoi/browse_thread/thread/2bea80ab4dee8098/433340c9a9eb61b9?hl=en&lnk=gst&q=dumuro#433340c9a9eb61b9

Another site gives the definition of the word Dumuro

duro, dumuro, duruin: Word: duroActive Verb: dumuroPassive Verb: duruinEnglish Definition: (verb) to pierce or to penetrate sharply as with a pointed instrumentExamples: 1) Duruin mo ng lapis ang papel. (Pierce the paper with a pencil.) 2) Dumuro ka ng papel sa pamamagitan ng lapis. (You pierce the paper with a pencil.)Source: http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/

I'm not sure what language it is - but he/she certainly is a prick.

2008-04-24T20:32:00.004+01:00

And here are some more...

2008-04-24T20:06:00.002+01:00

On a serious note...

These are some of my favourite photos from my trip to Ireland

2008-04-22T19:18:00.006+01:00

Barry

As I mentioned in an earlier posting - the prevalence of the name Barry in the town of Bantry challenged assumptions I had long held about said name.

A little known writer has documented a theory similar to mine at the following webpage

http://www.freewebs.com/recedinghair-lines/Called%20Barry.htm

Here are a few examples to taken in a period spanning 5 whole minutes last wednesday.

2008-04-21T22:16:00.003+01:00

Minke Whale
I went on a boat whale watching with my son. We were in the boat 5 hours. We saw this Minke a few time. But not much of it - you have to be quick.

2008-04-20T18:49:00.001+01:00

West Cork

2008-04-16T14:36:00.002+01:00

Cork
Hello from West Cork. I've been here since saturday and realy like it. I went on a boat yesterday with my son looking for dolphins. We didn't find any - but saw some porpoises, seals and a minke whale. Later in the day I realised that I had badly sunburned my face - this was unexpected as I had been covered in a coat, hat, sunglasses etc. The only bit of my body exposed was the bit of my face below my sunglasses and this was burnt. I think I had sunstroke because I started having shivers and a headache later.

Things which I find unbearably parochial in england - I find amusing in Ireland. I expect that's a patronising attitude - but at least I'm more fond than dismissive here. The main reason that I feel at home hear is the prevalence of my name. Whereas at home - my name is mainly used for dorky characters on TV (And is even being ridiculed on Radio 1's Barryoke) in Ireland - everyone seems to be called Barry. Its a normal name an in Bantry seems to be the name of most businesses. Pictorial evidence for this on my return.

2008-04-08T21:56:00.002+01:00

Rabbit
We walked back from the pub up the same road we'd walked two weeks ago. We'd watched football that time too - I think it was England v France - shoddy display. This time Arsenal and Liverpooll really turned it on for us.
"Did I tell you what happenened with the rabbit?", I said - remembering what had happened in that road last time.
"No," said Spire, " I was wondering, I didn't get the outcome".
"I turned my phone off and went to bed". I said.
"So what happened?"
"She made me come back to look for it", I said. " It was still there, under the car. We couldn't get it to come out. A woman turned up and said it had been on the street since 7 o'clock. We went home and phoned the RSPCA".
"What did they say?" said Spire.
"They called us back later and asked us to monitor it....I don't think so - I told them - I'm going to bed."
"Like you were going to wander around looking for a rabbit at one in the morning." he said.
"Neither of us blogged it". He added.
"No - I must have been tired".
"I wondered if we both would", He said, "It would have been interesting to see if the stories were the same.".

2008-04-08T07:33:00.001+01:00

The Final Whistle

2008-04-06T07:14:00.002+01:00

London
Its 7.15am. I'm sitting in an internet cafe in Bloomsbury just round the corner from my hotel. Its snowing outside and my denim jacket is damp from my failed search for an observer. I'm sure I would have found one eventually - this is central London after all - but I got too wet and I found this 24 hour internet shop with a 24 hour Subway next door where I bought a take out coffee (Black with no milk). Its £1 for an hour and seems pretty full. What are all these people doing here at 7.15 on sunday morning? For that matter - what am I doing here. Well I woke up at 5 and couldn't get back to sleep. My room mate is snoring gently and I didn't want to wake him so I came in search of coffee and paper and savouring and extra bit of the London experience.

I feel a bit rough from last night - though on usual performances we were quite civilised. We didn't start drinking till 3.30, we had both lunch (fish and chips) and dinner (Chinese) and were in bed by 11.30. This was because:-
a. We wanted to be in a good state to enjoy the game of a lifetime today
b. Two of our party were fathers in their seventies and we didn't want to make them overdo it.

We even went for the briefest excursion to the British Museum before the pub. It went like this:-
"Lets have a look around the museum"
"Its free"
We walked through the foyer to the new bit where the terracota army are installed.
"£12"
"I'm not paying that"
10 more minutes of wandering arund the foyer.
"I could murder a pint"
"Me too"
"Lets go".
Looking round the snow is getting heavier. I should go back soon - but I have forgotten my room card and will have to wake my room mate up. I may have to put up with the Torygraph which they seem to be giving away at the hotel. I wonder what the crossword's like. No matter - I haven't got a pen.

2008-04-01T17:44:00.002+01:00

Service
I went to a posh hotel for a meeting today. The Tortworth Court near Wooton-under-Edge. My manager has his ankle in plaster so four of us had to go there to meet him prior to our service being inspected tommorow. I did some inspecting of the service at Tortworth Court. The woman who served us was eastern european, pretty and very helpful. I ordered a black coffee - as is my want. I drink black coffee - that is - coffee without milk. She brought the black coffee along with the other orders (A cappuccino, a latte, a herbal tea and a diet coke). It had one of those small italian caremelised biscuits on the saucer. I can't eat them at the moment as I'm not eating wheat so I offered it around.
"Would you like milk with your black coffee?", she offered - kindly proferring a metal milk jug in my direction.
"No thankyou" I smiled - flashing a look at my colleague. She carried on dishing out the drinks to the others. Before she left she turned to me enquiring again,
"Would you like some milk with your black coffee?"
No thanks, " I said - turning my Oliver Hardy look up to a level nine and wondering what her issue was.

2008-03-30T10:37:00.002+01:00

My Luck
She bought me a new shirt yesterday - from Fat Face - a shop I like - Extra large. This morning she told me that she had bought it to make up for how horrid she had been to me recently. I was pleased. I wanted to ask her to list the ways in which she had been horrid - but that would have been pushing my luck.

2008-03-29T17:20:00.003Z

Reunion
I went to see Cardiff City play last saturday with an old friend and his father. We've all gone down with cup fever - which is incurable. We went for a drink afterwards. By 11 o'clock I couldn't drink any more and could barely stand so I made my excuses. I crossed the road where a taxi was waiting. I had thought earlier in the evening that I would be cautious about crossing the road when leaving the pub - after all that has happened - but I wasn't.

I got in the taxi next to the driver and as he pulled off I felt quesy. I have never thrown up in a taxi and hoped not to start now. As we chatted I settled down. After telling him my mum's address he asked if I had gone to the school in that area. I had. So had he. He asked my age. I told him. He was that age too. I asked his name. At first I was confused as I had a friend at school with the same name and it certainly wasn't him. Then I remembered him. At school his surname had been prefixed by "Fatty". He didn't remember me.
"I used to be quite big when I was at school," he said pointing to his belly as if it was small now.

2008-03-24T16:41:00.002Z

Response
So I thought my last entry might create the smallest smidgeon of on-line interest. Maybe a touch of self righteous indignation - a few recriminations - maybe just a tadge of idle curiosity - but clearly the great readership are turning their (his??) back on my gnawing.

I did however get three responses in other ways than the comments section of this blog. The first was in a text form a new friend of mine. We were trying to make arrangements to meet and she added "What do U mean by gnawing?" to the end of her message. I was chuffed that she'd read it. When we met I suggested she sign up for a blog so she can make comment. She said she might.

The third response was from a very old friend. He hadn't read the blog but I told him on a night out. He called me a "Fucking hypocrite". I didn't agree but never got the chance to make my point. I think its OK to change your mind about things.

The second was a text from my son saying "What meat did you eat?"

2008-03-20T08:08:00.002Z

Gnawing
Yesterday I did something that I last did 23 years ago. In fact it was 14th February 1985 when I did it. I was a 19 year old student in a large group of other male and female students. When I decided to stop doing it it I was convinced that morally and politically it was the right decision. Over the years - not doing this thing became not only a strong habit - but a big part of who I am. When I meet others who also don't do it - I have a sense of bonding with them which I enjoy. It makes me feel like I am part of a special minority. Also not doing it helps me to avoid some decisions that I find difficult.

People ask me now and again - especially when I first meet them - why I don't do it? The problem is - I really don't know any more. In the early years I spouted the familiar lines of the zealot. More recently I find myslef fumbling to give any coherent answer at all. For several years the idea of doing it again has been gnawing at me.

And for some reason -last night I did it.

2008-03-18T18:08:00.002Z

Chugger
The doorbell rang about 8.30 last night. I didn't want to see anyone. My partner had come back from her first day at work after being in London for three weeks at her sons hospital bedside and I didn't want us to be interrupted. I went to the door expecting to see - either one of the two friends who ever call on the door - or in vain hope that the missed parcel note I had (Reginald Perrin DVD's bought on ebay) would be delivered by my neighbour. I didn't know the young man I saw. I was confused. The I saw him reach for an ID badge and 1.5 seconds into the beginning of his cheerful patter I found myself saying
"No".
And closing the door. As I closed it I heard the beginnings of his self satisfied arguing. As the door slammed I heard him GRRRRR!!!
"Who was it?" she asked as I returned to the living room.
"Chugger!" I said as I sat down.
"What do they think they're doing", she said, "Bothering people at all times of day".
"I know," I said.
"I've got a good mind to get the police on them," she said.
"I don't think its against the law to knock on people's doors, love. " I said
We both laughed.

2008-03-11T19:15:00.003Z

Choir
I went to choir practice last night. I wasn't sure whether or not to go. My partner is still in London and her son is due to have an operation tommorow and maybe I shouldn't be doing things like that. Also - I had a headache - a strange sort of headache which felt like someone was stretching my scalp tight. I didn't tell her about it earlier on the phone after she told me that he was suffering with headaches.

Just before I left for choir I got a simultaneous call and text from my friend who I was due to meet at a meeting later. He wanted to change the venue to his house as he had been hit by a pushbike and knocked over badly today. He sounded upset. He was at pains to stress it was his fault.

"Are you OK? I asked, meaning are you badly injured.
"No", he said, "I'm really shaken".

I said I'd see him later and went to the choir. I listened to the Archers on the way and was uncomfortable about how Roy was blaming Brenda for his baby being premature. When I walked into the choir - the tutor came over to me and gave me lots of attention asking me about my partners son. I gave some info and lots of people were genuinely concerned and sympathetic. One woman put her hand on my knee and said I must have been through a lot.
"It's not me", I reacted, "I'm OK - Its her .... and him".

We started the vocal exercises and I really thought I had made a mistake coming. I couldn't allow myself to let go, to get into it. It felt wrong. I thought about walking out. Then gradually, I found myself grinning and joining in. So I stayed.

2008-03-09T09:07:00.002Z

The Good Thing
I approached the newsagent as I usually do on a sunday morning - but this week not sure if it would be open. I'd seen the notice in the Spar last night and I suspected that things might have changed round here.
"I'm very sorry to hear about John", I said as I approached the counter with my Observer.
She took my two pound coins with her white gloved hands protecting against her skin condition. There was a pause during which I wondered if I had said the wrong thing.
"The good thing is," she said, "At least it didn't go to his bones."
"Had he been ill long?" I asked.
"No", she said. "He was only diagnosed in January."
"So quite quick then.."
"Yes," she said, "and I was there with him and he knew who I was and everything."
"Well take care then", I said as I left.

2008-03-07T17:50:00.002Z

Treatments
I took the cat the the vets this morning. He has an over-active thyroid. He hissed in his cat box in the waiting area at the curious dogs who tried to sniff him. The vet took his blood and weighed him. He had put on 4 kg whihc was encouraging. I waited from the blood test results but the machine was faulty so they agreed to phone me. I paid the £51 with my credit card.

I was on tenterhooks because my partners son was due to have a major operation today. Texted from the vets. No news. I took the cat home, fed him and gave him his pill. Then I went to the hospital for my 3 monthly check for skin cancer. I didn't want to park on a meter because I might be kept in if there was something wrong. I drove a round the flats where my friend lives but no spaces. I found one in Brigstocke Rd and walked from there via Tesco Metro where I bought a Guardian and failed to buy a flapjack having to settle for a packet of McCoys - Flame-Grilled Steak flavour.

In the waiting room I noticed on the board that my consultant was leaving at 11.30 - the time of my appointment. I wondered who I would see. I couldn't help noticing an attractive female doctor with two black eyes. I wondered idly how she had got them. I decided that if it was her who saw me I wouldn't ask - best not to cause embarassment about a fictitious cover story. This would be hard for me as I like to chat. The maternal nurse who sees me every time welcomed me as if I were her favourite son. I bet she talks like that to all the boys.

After 5 successful answers in the guardian cryptic, my phone rang. My partner was distraught - the operation had been postponed until wednesday because surgeons had more urgent cases. I was gutted - the thought of her spending another 5 days sitting next her son's bed around the clock stopping him getting out of bed and taking whatever his uninhibited brain would throw at her made me feel sick.

Soon after she said "I'll call you later", I was called into see Black-eyes.
"Hello I'm Dr W. I don't usually look like this.", she said to my surprize.
"I don't imagine you do," I said. I continued to inhibit my urge to ask her about how she did it. She gave me a clean bill of mole health and left me to be photographed by the bearded hospital photographer. I'm not sure he got my best side.

2008-03-03T14:02:00.002Z

SUNDAY

On Sunday 24th Feb we went out from lunch at the Bristol docks with some friends. It was the last day of half term and I was due to take my son back to his mother's at 5.30.
"Do you have any things you usually do on a sunday night before going back to work?", asked my friend over tea and cake.
"I'm not sure", I said" Maybe we'll see a film or something".
"I usually like to do something", he said. "To prolong the sense of being off work."

We finished with our friends about 4pm and it was too soon to set off to take my son back so I suggested dropping my partner(K) back home before getting some fuel and doing the journey. We agreed that I would pick up a DVD at Blockbusters on the way home. I would call her to discuss which one. I needed the loo - and worrying - as I do - about needing it for the whole journey I asked K to sit in the car with my son while I had my comfort break. On my way back out I thought - I'll just check the voice mail to make sure my son's mother hadn't left one of her messages asking me to have him later. The number 1571 didn't bring her voice. Instead that of the former step mum of K's son Z. I almost didn't listen to it - assuming she was asking us around to eat as she does sometimes. I remember the cold feeling in my stomach as I heard the words "car accident", "hospital" "London" "saturday night", "we're going now". I went outside and found her laughing with my son.

"Can you get out of the car a minute -there's been a message. "

I held her hand and lead her to the house. She was still smiling. I told her about the message saying her son had had a car accident and was in a London hospital. She swore several times. I told her to listen to the message and to phone the hospital. I would take my son home and we would take it from there.

Getting in the car I felt sick. I had a bad feeling about this one. If he had had the accident last night he must be unconcious or he would have called us. She was going immediately - it had serious written all over it. I told my son what was going on.

"Oh" he said," Can I have my MP3 player on?"

"Did you hear what I said", I repeated, "Z is in hospital - he's had a car accident."

"Yes I heard", he said.

A minute later, "Can you turn it up". I bit down and let him listen to his music leaving me alone with my fear.

As I dropped him off I told his mother. She said she was sorry. I phoned K. She had spoken to the hospital. He had a fractured skull. He had been hit by a car coming out of a pub. He was in intensive care.

"I'll take you there now", I said. "Pack some things"

She cried as I held her hand on the M4. We didn't speak much. We didn't have the stereo on. At one point she listened to her relaxation tape on her ipod and I listened to the Archers.

After three hours we arrived at the hospital. Someone whistled behind us as we walked up the main road. It was the step mother. We sort of hugged. She said she would see us later after she had eaten. We met K's friend at the gates who had arranged to give us a key to her house. She also gave K rescue remedy and some other homeopathic pills. It was a nice thought.

We couldn't find the intensive care unit in the refurbished building with a lack of signs. - then we found it. She rang the buzzer and after an age a nurse came an allowed us in - ushering us to the alcohol rub for our hands. I knew that this would soon be second nature. She asked K how long it was since she had seen her son. She struggled to remember but said it was a few months. The nurse warned us that we might not recognise him as he has badly swollen aroung the eyes and forehead. We were lead through an open ward full of unconcious people with drips and tubes and monitors. As we approached his bed we saw him. He looked bad - though not as bad as I had imagined in those seconds. He was unconcious with a ventilator tube in his mouth and a feeding tube in his nose. His eyes were swollen and closed like a boxers. There were white plugs in his nose. His forehead was bloody and had a dressing on it. He was recognisable to me as Z though it didn't seem like him. I don't think I have ever seen him asleep - let alone unconcious before.

After a while we were ushered into a room by a doctor. He was a consultant anaesthetist who was in charge of ICU on that shift. He gave us lots of information and I hung on his every word. He told us about Z being brought in on a helicopter. He said that he if you are going to injure the brain the front and the back are the least bad bits to hurt. He said that they would keep Z sedated while they waited for the swelling to stop. This could take 24 hours or more. He said that he wasn't out of the woods yet.

Later in the visitors room I chatted with his brother and his step mum. His father arrived from Ireland about 10.30. He kissed the step-mum and K - both his ex's. I stood up and offered him a hug awkwardly - he met it with a handshake but it was too late and I was committed to the hug. Stone paper scissors.

We left and drove to the house of the friend who had agreed to put us up. She focussed on navigating using my London A-Z. We let ourselves in and shuffled into the sofabed trying not to wake anyone. We had not eaten since 3pm in the cafe but it barely crossed my mind. She cried on my shoulder as we fell asleep.

2008-02-21T09:48:00.002Z

Texts

Pls bring phone charger. Also feed boris & drug him. Also don't forget pie.

Trying to give ang your numb. I is crap. P

Gutted

Thought you were asking. and barnsley beat liverpool

Its a lovely day here hope sam with u. enjoy ;ove mum

Im not out as far as i no

Em...7.15?!

Whats the plan stan? U still up 4 a bevvy 2moro?

Beers Chaz?Fancy one at Wllngton, Glocs Rd, Horfield at 10.10?L

On radio Graham Taylor says it's a poor performance by a mediocre team

Can't cook wont cook. Going for chips abt 5.45. Will put smthing in oven if u want

Encourage you to, so might see you there

Jeremy Beadle has requested his remains be recyled into compost and scattered on his garden. ITV sources say he could be back in early autumn with "Watch out Beadles A Sprout!"

2008-02-17T17:33:00.003Z

Capel Y Ffin
I stayed in a B&B in Capel Y Ffin in the Black Mountains this weekend. Here are some friends I made.

The weather was nice and this is an idyllic scene,.

I liked the colour of the moss on this tree.

2008-02-14T07:32:00.000Z

Phase
It was just a phase I was going through...

2008-02-06T22:18:00.000Z

Fall Out
Eleven and a half years ago I fell out with my parents badly. It was at a time of great crisis in my life and I couldn't deal with the demands my father was putting on me at that time so I cut off contact with him and my mother for about a month or two. When it had calmed down a bit I arranged to go to see them to talk things through. I had just passsed my driving test and had bought my first car - a red Vauxhall Cavalier A317LEX.

When I arrived at the house I went in and had a cup of tea at the kitchen table. Instead of discussing what was going on me and my father spenf one and a half hours talking about my car and the football.

We might have carried on like that if my mother hadn't yelled
"I can't believe what you're doing".

2008-02-01T20:11:00.000Z

Pinch Punch
It's the first if Feb today and I was quite excited. Its the end of my January detox period and I can eat and drink stuff again. I went to early early as I do on friday. I sent one person and email and several a text saying "Pinch Punch". I got the following responses:-
"Slap 'n' a Kick"
"First day of the month, Love you."
"Have a beer and a bag of crisps"
"No Returns?"
"Red Lobster".

2008-01-30T19:27:00.000Z

Roccoco Gardens

On sunday we went to the Roccoco Gardens at Painswick near Stroud. She wanted to go to see the Snowdrops and take photos of them. It was only a minor sacrifice for me as I managed to tape the live game and took the paper with. I also took a few photies. Hope you like them.

2008-01-28T22:04:00.000Z

5th Round
At 6.10am this morning I dreamed it was 7.ooam and woke up thinking my alarm was about to go off. Trying to go back to sleep I became obsessed with trying to remember which teams had qualified for the 5th round of the FA Cup. I knew the big four were there and Middlesborough because I had seen the game. There must be more premier league teams. I tried to forget about it and go back to sleep.
Portsmouth - I remembered Portsmouth were through. They had beaten Plymouth in the "Battle of the naval dockyards." That made six. Only another 10 to go. Cardiff - obviously and Rovers. West Brom had beaten Peterborough who are managed by Fergie's son - Darren. Seven more - there must be another premiership team. I went through them counting them on my fingers. I got to about 16 then gave up. Then I started scouring the country in my mind. None of the other north east teams were throught. Newcastle had lost to Chelsea and I couldn't remember Sunderland in the 4th round. Everton were out - so I went through the London teams. I remembered Huddersfield.
Pretty soon it was 7 and the alarm went off.
I went downstairs and booted up the computer while I fed the cat. I went straight to the BBC site. Man City. I had forgotten about them. They lost to Sheffield united. I hadn't been aware of that game.
I'm sure this sort of thing happens to you all the time.

2008-01-27T09:37:00.000Z

Comedy
We went to see some comedy last night at the Comedy Box. It's upstairs in a pub. She queued on the stairs while I went to the bar. The barmaid overlooked me for another man. I gave him a look.
"Had you been waiting", he said. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault", I said. "She should have noticed me."
When he was paying he asked her to serve me next. I ordered two drinks (Non-alcoholic - its still January) and nodded to the man in appreciation as I passed him on the way to the stairs.
"Excuse me", I said to a couple who were blocking my way. "Can I get past to join someone I'm with?".
"We're wanting to meet someone too." said the woman
"Oh". I said
"You can go past". She said.
I came across my partner at the door to a large black room with tables, chairs and a stage. I had "Comedy Box" stamped on my hand and we were ushered to a table for two near the front but at the side.
"This is a bit near" I said, " We might get picked on".
"You sit here then", she said, pointing to the chair nearest the stage.

We spent some time just chatting and fiddling with the flyers on the table. It was hard to read them by candle light. I went to move the night-light candle nearer to her so she could read more easily and my hand knocked the pint glass over with three quarter of a pint of orange juice and lemonade in it. It went all over her leg.
"Oh shit", I said, "Shall I get some tissues?".
She nodded and I headed for where I thought the toilets were. I found the ladies but in my panic couldn't spot the gents. I stood , peering into a room that a man had come out of looking to see the sign of the door.
"This isn't the toilet", said a large man with a soft irish accent. "It's the dressing room. The toilet's round the corner. I follwed his directions and he came with me to make sure I had the right place.
As she mopped her leg I told her that the man who had shown me the toilet looked like the poster image of the comedian we were there to see.

After the first act I went to the loo. As I left the same man crossed my path into the toilet. When he came on the stage two minutes later I was knew I would like him.

2008-01-23T22:07:00.000Z

Out
"I'm going out next wednesday", I said.
"You're always going out", she said.
"No I'm not". I said.

2008-01-22T21:22:00.000Z

Have a Go
After driving through 45 minutes of disgusting traffic -following a really stressful appointment he phoned me - when I was nearly there - to tell me that the table-tennis court wasn't booked. There had been a mix up between him and his friend - both thinking the other had made the booking. They were going to the pub to play pool instead.
"See you there." I said.
I arrived first and ordered a pint of orange juice and lemonade - its another nine days before I'm allowing myself to drink alcohol.
"£2.20", he said.
"They charged me £1.90 last night", I said. They had. He checked and charged me £1.90 muttering something under my breath. He turned up and I bought him a pint of the same and got some 50p pieces.
As we started the game he explained that he had never told his friend that he has booked it.
"He was swearing at me down the phone."
A few minutes later the friend hadn't arrived.
"Do you think he's gone of in a huff?" I asked.
"No", he said", "I think he'll come down here to have a go at me."

2008-01-21T18:47:00.000Z

We're all talking about it
I booked tickets yesterday morning to see "No Country for Old Men" - the new Coen brothers film. We had discussed it on saturday and agreed to go. We had friends around for sunday lunch.
"Would you like to go to see the new Coen film?" he said over the washing up.
"We're going tonight", I said,"I've booked tickets. Aparently its quite gory".
"Gory" - she said, "You didn't tell me it was gory".
"I thought you knew about it", I said. "You like the Coens - it'll be fine".

After the film she said
"It was a good film and all that - but it wasn't really my thing".

When I got home there was an email from a friend. It said:
"I'm trying to get a gang together to go and see No Place for Old Men ".
I replied saying
"I've just come back from the Watershed. I saw a film called "No Country for Old Men". It sounds very similar to the one you're suggesting. I liked it a lot - but am unlikely to want to see two such similar sounding films in close proximity."

Just now I spoke to a friend after misinterpreting his blog. He's part of the gang going on monday.

2008-01-20T08:58:00.000Z

Jogging in the Early Morning Rain
Jogging in the early morning rain
Feeling good about the pain
Twenty minutes up the cycle track
Ten minutes there and Ten minutes back
All is quiet I see no one
I may as well have nothing on
Except 3 youths in tops with hoods
Who probably aren’t up to no good
And one cyclist who doesn’t smile
We cross each other single file.
Jogging in the early morning rain
I tell myself that I must gain
From all this pumping all this sweating
And the aching - not forgetting
All the washing – early rising
But I like it – that’s surprising
In ear headphones-MP3
No one’s up to bother me
Delaying when I check the time
No one to cheat the agenda’s mine
Making sure I breath out and in
And finding that it stops the pain.
Jogging in the early morning rain
It’ll be easier if I do it again
Feeling like my body’s real
Blood and sweat from head to heel
In Sundays race I’m far ahead
As everyone is still in bed
And I forget I’m forty two
And that my belly’s turned to goo
And I forget my hairline’s high
I feel the rain I see the sky.
Jogging in the early morning rain
I’m on my street I’m back again
I pass my door but walk on past
My walking pace is just as fast
I love the stretch the warming down
I feel in my pocket for two pounds
I put them there to use them later
And hand them over for my paper
I place it underneath my mac
And hold it there as I walk back
Jogging in the early morning rain
Feeling better about the pain.

2008-01-19T10:14:00.000Z

Down
I didn't feel like blogging yesterday. I was a bit down and I wasn't sure why. I was partly being tired and coldy, partly a bikt depressed about having the afternoon at home with my some and not doing anything nice together. H played playstation and I did a but of tidying and a bit of messing around on the computer. We did play three hands of Doctor Who Uno (all of which I won) - but it felt half hearted. He didn't even have any homework for me to bug him about because he's been off school all week with a cold. He's watching The Simpsons Movie now on DVD. I'm going to try to do something together today.
Watch this space.

2008-01-17T19:32:00.000Z

Scrabulous
This is a page of one of my games of scrabulous on facebook. It is in danger of being pulled
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7191264.stm
I thought I would save it for posterity. Any ideas for words would be appreciated as I'm losing