Bonjour
Bonjour mes blog amies. J'ecris ce blog a une cafe a Toulouse. C'est tres difficile, parce que les "board-des-quays" n'est pas la meme que l'un anglais et ma francais est tres merde. Je suis noticer que en France il y'a une place qui s'appelle un "Sandwicherie". J'aime cette idea et quand je retourne a Bristol je veux ouvert un "Scoth-eggerie", un "rice-cake-erie" et un "cheese-on-toasterie".
A bientot.

Restraint
She sounded very nice the woman on the vodafone customer service desk. She was helpfully trying to deal with my request - so I didn't have the heart to correct her when she told me she was going to configurate may phone.

Rose
I have a new camera. I took this with it.

Educational
I went on a picnic today at a place called Rodbrough Common in Stroud. I learned some new words:-
Autodidactic which means self-taught. (This was the answer to a clue in the Observer crossword.
Rug-straps which are straps to tie up the sort of blankets people take to picnics.
Fledged which means ready to leave the nest.
I think there was another one ore two but I have forgotten them already.

Mens talk
"Oh my god! Nikki's been evicted"
"What?", said friend one.
"Nikki on Big Brother's being evicted - I just got a text"
"You don't watch that rubbish do you - that really surprises me"
"Yes I do", I smiled.
"And you're a man too" he joked
"I have been described as a metrosexual".
"What's one of those?"
"I think its a modern man who sleeps with women but also uses moisturiser - thought I don't use moisturiser"
" I use moisturiser" interjected friend two.
"Why do you use that" said one. "Have you got bad skin or something?"
"I just use it because my girlfriend buys it and its there. I quite like the feel of it".
"Ya big poof!" I joked.
They laughed.

Feel the fear...
Last month I did a blog called "Selective Amnesia" which described meeting a geordie on the way home from the pub. I met him again last night. In fact I spent the evening with him. We have mutual friends. Funnily enough, he has the same name as me - though he goes by the shortened version (I sometimes use that too).
He was the youngest in our group but he said that in some ways he was older because he wasn't intimidated by anything.
"You mean that you never get scared?" said someone suspiciously.
"No," he said, " I just know when I am scared and use it."
"What's the difference?" I asked.
"Being intimidated is when you change your behaviour because of your fear", he said.

Doors of Perception
It happens nearly every day so I have become quite resolute about it. After a long day I come home, eventually find someone to park may car somewhere in the vicinity of my house, and engage in a strange sort of ritual. It goes like this.

I open the car door nearest to the road - usually to get my son out - but today it was the shopping (He was on the kerbside). At the moment I open the door a car appears as if by magic and the driver puts his/her foot down. I refuse to close the door until I have finished getting son/shopping out. Drivers shouts abuse at me as he/she speeds past. I shout abuse back at him/ her which probably can't be heard.

Today it was in slow motion. He was a taxi driver and he lowered him wondow in order to shout "Mash it up, Mash it up".
At first I thought he was giving me cullinary advice about the potatoes in my bag. Then I realised he was telling me what he planned to do to my car door if I didn't move it. I yelled that I had to get my son out of the car (Bizarre because as I have mentioned he was on the other side.) I think I was taking the opportunity to yell this at someone who had to listen.

Teachers
Being shown around prospective secondary school by "very nice" Special Needs Co-ordinator. There was something about her manner which made me feel uncomfortable. I kept telling myself that she was just a normal person and that all teacher don't have some form of subtle mind-alterning surgery. Just as I was practically convinced she said
"You don't have to be mad to work here...but it helps."

In Demand
Three people have asked me to post something in the last couple of days. I've been making excuses why I haven't been doing so - a combination of being obsessed with the world cup and current domestic demands making me too tired to think in the evenings. These are both true - but now i've got to the stage that I'm worried that I may fall out of the loop - so here I am - by popular demand.

Over the Counter

I'm now waiting for my prize - I'm so excited to find out what it could be. A Holiday, a new car, a bag of crisps.
I wonder how I'll handle the fame. I need to re-assure my friends - that I'll still hang around with them,.
Has anyone got the number of a good agent?

Grief
He's going to miss - I know he's going to miss... He missed - Oh fuck - I really didn't think he would. I thought I could will him to score - I wanted him to - I needed him to - It can't stop now - It's got to carry on...

It stopped.

A moments silence. Sickness in my stomach. Throbbing behind my eyes.
The came the analysis - we tried to rub away the emptyness with words - as if understanding it would make it any better. It doesn't matter why - I doesn't really matter at all - It just feels so much like it does.
I went straight to the loo without a word. I didn't know what else to do. WhenI came down I held my son who was on the edge of tears - you and me both. Why do they always have to lose he said. I didn't know.
I started cooking in the kitchen as they left one by one. One shouted goodbye from the living room. I wished later I'd hugged him. The other came to say goodbye. I hugged him and called him mate. I wasn't sure why. I went into the garden and couldn't bear to tell her about it because I knew she was pleased and thought I was stupid for acting like this.
I couldn't eat my tea - but did anyway and watched Doctor Who. I took some solace from Andy Murray beating Roddick. A phonecall invited me out from a drink. I jumped at the thought that alcohol would take the feeling away - but then he said that he thought that Rooney was a wanker and I didn't know if I could be with him - but I went anyway.
This morning I felt a bit better.