Disappointment
I went swimming on Wednesday morning. I didn't feel able to run this week because I twisted my ankle last week - so when two colleagues suggested a 7am swim - I thought - hmm! - good idea. I decided to walk to them pool as my car was booked into for an MOT. I enjoyed walking through Easton before 7 in the morning. It was quiet and fresh. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a black man said "Alright mate" to me as we passed each other crossing the dual carriageway. I mumbled alright back to him once I got over myself.

Years ago I used to live on that stretch of Stapleton Road and had known all the shops really well. Now I rarely go down there and they are all strange to me. I was excited to see that there was a 24 hour supermarket. That'll be handy I thought - to get things late at night (which I never do and we have a 24 hour tesco's anyway). My excitement soon gave way to disappointment when I realised that it was closed.

Wired
I was wired last night - but in a good way. I still am a bit. I went to choir practice and things are hotting up for a small performance we are doing in a week or two's time. I loved the feeling of coming together with this group and making a sound which made us all smile. I loved the leaders' enthusiasm. I loved the banter I got into with her and some of the others. I loved the way that some people laughed at my banter.

I also felt vulnerable and stupid because when I get enthusiastic and carried away like that - there's always some people who are irritated or wound up by it. Often its my partner but not last night. It was another woman who seemed to be challenging me about suggestions I made - as if I was overstepping my authority. I dealt with this through banter by drawing attention to myself every time I made a suggestion.

I don't really want to censor myself when I feel so free and joyful - but if I don't I have to deal with the censorship of others - a choice I find tough. I spoke to her about it in the car on the way back.
"I wouldn't worry about it". She said.

Lost fivers
I lost £5 yesterday. I went on some errands yesterday afternoon the last of which was Tesco's getting stuff for her to make cakes. She gave me a tenner and I was going to have to give her a fiver change so I paid on the card and asked for £20 cashback.
"Not sure if we've got any five pound notes", he said.
I told him not to worry.
He did have them and counted them out when he gave me my cash.
As I got in the car I remembered that I had forgotten to buy butter - the original reason for going there. I wasn't going to brave the checkout again so went to the Spar when I got home. It was £1.14. I paid with a fiver.
"Are you sure there aren't two stuck together", I said to the assistant. She said there weren't.
When I got my money out later there were no fivers.

This afternoon I paid £5 to see some poetry. I'm not a fan of poetry but my friend was reading and I had ended up at the Arnolfini where it was happening and she wanted to pay £4 to go the Organic fair - which I didn't fancy at all - so I went.
"How long is it going to take?" I asked the woman at the ticket counter.
"No more than an hour and a half", she smiled.
An hour and a half later the first half finally came to an end with a 20 minute interval. My friend hadn't been on yet. I had slept through translated somalian poetry and fidgetted through translated Arabic poetry. They even gave us the benefit of playing tapes of the poetry in its origianal languages - the point of which I didn't get at all. There was a question and answer session at the end of the reading. I hated each questionner with increasing intensity. Some were in the bar in the interval where I sat with her. She drank coffee and told me about the great free samples she had got at the organic food fair. I gave them nasty looks.