Lost fivers
I lost £5 yesterday. I went on some errands yesterday afternoon the last of which was Tesco's getting stuff for her to make cakes. She gave me a tenner and I was going to have to give her a fiver change so I paid on the card and asked for £20 cashback.
"Not sure if we've got any five pound notes", he said.
I told him not to worry.
He did have them and counted them out when he gave me my cash.
As I got in the car I remembered that I had forgotten to buy butter - the original reason for going there. I wasn't going to brave the checkout again so went to the Spar when I got home. It was £1.14. I paid with a fiver.
"Are you sure there aren't two stuck together", I said to the assistant. She said there weren't.
When I got my money out later there were no fivers.

This afternoon I paid £5 to see some poetry. I'm not a fan of poetry but my friend was reading and I had ended up at the Arnolfini where it was happening and she wanted to pay £4 to go the Organic fair - which I didn't fancy at all - so I went.
"How long is it going to take?" I asked the woman at the ticket counter.
"No more than an hour and a half", she smiled.
An hour and a half later the first half finally came to an end with a 20 minute interval. My friend hadn't been on yet. I had slept through translated somalian poetry and fidgetted through translated Arabic poetry. They even gave us the benefit of playing tapes of the poetry in its origianal languages - the point of which I didn't get at all. There was a question and answer session at the end of the reading. I hated each questionner with increasing intensity. Some were in the bar in the interval where I sat with her. She drank coffee and told me about the great free samples she had got at the organic food fair. I gave them nasty looks.