Breakers
"Have you got a motor for the thing that squirts water over the windscreeen for an M Reg Astra Estate?", was the question I put to the unsmiling man at the car breakers. I have been going there for years and he rarely shows any emotion in his face. He moved from behind the counter and found a small black motor in a biscuit tin full of parts. He took it too a battery and connected the electrodes to it. It made a buzzing sound.
"How much is that?" I asked
He told me it was £11.75 including VAT and confirmed that it was OK to pay with a card. After I had done this he said,
"I'll just write you out a reciept"
I noticed that on the reciept it said "w/pump".
"Is it called a washer pump" I asked
He nodded
" I never know that these things are called" I said, "So I always have to describe them".
He smiled.

Perve
He asked me to go swimming with him because he is learning and needed the practice. I was free so I went.
"I'll see you in the foyer" I said as we went to get changed after our swim. I was out first and soon saw him through the glass doors. He gestured to me that he was going to dry his hair. After a couple of minutes I decided it was pointless waiting as we were going different places so I went through the glass doors. He was there by the dryers chatting to a very beautiful young woman in a towel. She can't have been much more than twenty.
"I'm off now" I said " I'll see you later".
He came out with me.
"Good luck" said the beautiful woman.
"Do you know her?" I asked in hushed tones.
"No" he grinned
"Perve" I called him
He smiled and said goodbye to me.
"I've just got to go to the toilet" he said, going back in.
As I left I caught a glance through the glass doors of him chatting to her again.

The Spar
I went into my local shop last night to get some milk. It was the first time I'd seen the shopkeeper since she was the subject of an armed robbery a few weeks ago.
"I'm sorry to hear what happened", I said "Horrible business"
"Yes" she said.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes I'm fine thankyou" she said "but I'm still very angry. There were three of them - one held a gun to my head, one at the door and one held a woman customer at gunpoint on the floor."
"Goodness!" I said
"I told them to stop shouting - I don't like people shouting at me"
I nodded
"That woman hasn't been back in - she was a regular customer - they don't think about how people are traumatised"
"No - its terrible - have they been caught?
"No - we've got CCTV but they were masked"
"I don't know why these people are let out of prison - I'm so angry - It happended a while a go and the woman in the shop had a nervous breakdown and had to go to hospital."
"Horrible" I said
"I'd happily march on parliament against these people - why don't they do something to stop it?"
"I know what you mean"
"I guess its your anger that keeps you going" she said.
"Yes". I said as I took my milk and made to leave.
"Thanks for your concern" she said.

Try something new today
I tried Sainsbury's today. The food was a bit posher and a bit more expensive. I sort of liked it. These were the two highlights of my visit:-
Highlight No 1. I was perusing the many varieties of bread when I absent mindedly broke wind. This was a strange experience for me - never having done it before - and certainly not in an upmarket shopping establishment. I looked behind me to see if anyone had noticed. A female employee smiled at me at she went past and said
"I'm surrounded by big men everywhere today - not that I'm complaining".
Either
a. She didn't hear my fart
or
b. She was rather impressed by it.
Highlight No 2. I put the trolley by the side of my car and went around the other side to unlock the door. I heard a loud clunk and ran around to see the trollley rolling into the two cars in front. I wasn't able to stop it hitting but luckily it was slow enough not to damage the cars. Then I noticed the source of the clunk. The trolley had knocked off my wing mirror.
Fortunately it is the sort you can just snap on.
No harm done.