Contaminated
I've been knackered this week. Weighed down by work and the weary bit that isn't work. Grabbed some chips from the chip shop last night after picking up son then picking up partner. I find chips comforting. I had them with a frozen pizza and an organic tomato in a half arsed effort to convince myself it was a balanced meal. I made bacon for the son. He eats meat - but I don't. I've become used to making it. I told him seven or eight times to eat with his fork and not his fingers - seething inside that his mother doesn't make him do that and that I have to re-teach him this habit every friday.
"Thats why I tell you to use his fork", I yelled with menace as he wiped chip and bacon fat through his hair.
He ate all the bacon then did his mournful look at me saying
"There are a lot of chips..."
"You don't have to eat them all" I said - having polished off mine and still feeling a lack of something. "I'll have them".
As I swallowed the first chip I tasted a taste unfamiliar to my mouth but well known to my nose. I had forgotten that he had had bacon on the plate. I felt sick. For hours I couldn't get the taste of bacon out of my mouth. I ate fruit, chocolate drank coffee, cleaned my teeth. I thought I was going to throw up. I last ate meat on 14th February 1985 and even then my jewish upbringing had meant that bacon was not part of my diet.
I never imagined it would have been such a big deal.