Christmas Spirit
Usually I just hate christmas. Yesterday - things took a bit of a downturn. Most other years I've been able to brush off the sense of irritation I feel when ever anyone mentions how much their looking forward to putting up their deckies or writing out their cards. I make some grumpy comment and its over with. This year my tollerance of yuletide related joy has plunged new depths. I'm quite worried that I'm in danger of at best really upsetting my work colleagues and at worst become the subject of a disciplinary action in the grounds of religious discrimination. The thing that really gets me is the gooey longing look they have when they say how much they love christmas - revealing a deep seated sense of comfort and belonging to the festival.

Am I just jealous? Is it just big sour grapes that the whole country seems to be celebrating something I either feel excluded from or betraying of my culture and beliefs by joining in. No one would mind if I took the latter position - in fact they would love it - if I joined in like everyone else and wasn't such a killjoy. I can do it where alcohol is concerned. In these cases it has the same significance as football and birthdays. There are other bits I like too. Holidays from work, food, TV, pressies, seeing rellies and friends. I just can't bear that anyone would think that I am doing this because it is christmas.

I discussed it with a colleague today. She suggested that I "get over myself". She may be right - but if I did that I'd have to stop spoiling it for everyone else just when they're enjoying themselves.

Where's the christmas spirit in that?

3-2
My mobile rang. It was 20 minutes into the first half and England were 2-0 down. My son was jumping around in his pajamas. My friend was analysing the game. I didn't recognise the number but I took it out of curiousity.
"You've got a car radio for sale", said the gruff bristolian voice.
"Yeah...uh... can I call you later..um...tomorrow..." I said not wanting to get into this during the game. Wasn't he watching. I nearly told him what I was doing.
"Don't bother," he said as he hung up.
I told my friend
"Phone him back" he said
"No... I don't want to", I said - still shocked.
England lost 3-2.

Headache
"My boyfriend never farted in front of me for the first six months", she said.
"Oh yes," I said, interested.
"He used to go out of the room."
"That was jolly decent of him." I remarked.
"Now he does it all the time," she added.
"Its good that he feels comfortable", I mused.
"Yes,," she agreed, "But sometimes I get a headache."
"What - from the noise?"
"No - from the smell..."

Its a good job I'm not the sort of person prone to being paranoid.
Yesterday morning my computer refused to start. Instead it produced a strange message telling me its NTDLR was missing. The screen remained black with about seven random numbers and letters on it - with different coloured backgrounds. - quite attractive really. Many conversations with stupid techies later - it remains in this indisposed state and I am using its less sophisticated older brother. Shit happens - I thought.
Later in the day I was driving in my car - my new shiny car -when the shiny electric drivers-side window decided to lower itself spontaneously and without my command. Slightly alarmed I felt for the switch and after some fiddling it rose again. A few minutes later it happened again. I fiddled again and this time nothing happened. I became aware of a cold draft befind my head. Glancing around I realised that the rear window had impudently lowered itself about three inches. "Oh my god!" I thought "I'm in one of those cars that thinks for itself like in one of those films". Then I remembered that the cd player keeps spitting out my discs after playing them once. "Maybe the car doesn't like Radiohead's new album". I thought. I'm not altogether sold on it myself.
On reflection I realised that I had accidently opened the rear window with my fiddling. I have decided that the front window is broken and it is booked into the garage tommorow. The CD player is just senstive. Enough of this sillyness - I'm not one of these people prone to paranoia about mechanical objects. What would they have against me anyway.
Today the fax player at work decided to act like a normal phone and cannot be coaxed into sending a fax.
This evening the radiators at home are giving me the cold shoulder.

Worth a try
"I'd like to withdraw £300 cash", I told the woman behind the glass screen in the building society.
"How would you like the money?" she asked
"As it comes", I said, "It going straight in the bank."
"Twenties OK?" she said
"Yes", I said slightly irritated that this wasn't as it comes.
In the bank I slipped my hand into my bag and pulled the cash out of the building society book. I wrote out the paying in slip and putting the cash inside the cheque book put it in the security drawer type thing. The assistant was clearly friendly. I had heard her greet the old lady before by using her name. I assumed she was a regular.
As she was counting out my money - I became aware it was short. I felt into my bag and there were two twenties still in there. I placed them in the drawer and smiled.
"Worth a try", she said.
As she passed back my cheque book she asked if there was anything else she could help with. I told her there wasn't.
"Thanks very much Mr Fromthespar, " she said, "Have a nice day".
I did.

Facebook Dilemma
I had a facebook dilemma today. I decided to tell someone I didn't want to be her facebook friend. I explained that I was happy have contact with her and possibly to become her friend - but for reasons which are complex - I don't want our relationship to be public. She accepted this and apoligised for asking.

I was very close to having made the wrong decision and allowing her to be my facebook friend. This was because I tend to try to avoid upsetting people and its often easier to do what people ask me to do. A course that I've been on recently helped me to challenge this pattern of passiveness in myself.

I'm pleased with myself that I made the right decision.

I wonder if I could do the same thing in opposite - refuse to be someone's real friend but offer to be their facebook friend instead.